


The Angst Files

by voidrot



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crying, Cuddling, F/M, Ficlets, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Vaginal Sex, kylo ren just can't stop crying, sad boy sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:23:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6744931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidrot/pseuds/voidrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a place to post stuff that I write that's over 300 words or so, chapters will be unrelated and possibly not all explicit. All will feature Kylo as far as I can tell at this time, a lot will probably be sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bad Dream

Imagine he wakes up in the dead of night from a terrible dream. One involving you being violently removed from his life, perhaps, or some other unspeakable horrors. He grasps at you, wrapping his muscular arm around your waist, pressing you hard against his torso, simultaneously anchoring you to him and himself to reality. He buries his face in your hair and you can hear his choked sobs as he funnels all of his mental and emotional energy into suppressing the dream.

You guide one of the large hands resting on your belly up to your lips and kiss the long, elegant fingers, one at a time. He quiets down, feeling both guilty for waking you up and relieved at your simple gesture. Although you’re slightly groggy, you decide that perhaps having sex will put him in a better head space. Not that you’d mind it, either.

You reach over your shoulder, stroking his cheek and toying with his plush lips. He follows your fingers as you retract your arm, kissing any skin he encounters. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck and you can feel his tears. At this point, his hand had slid back down, pausing at your bare tits and tracing light shapes over your belly, ending with a light squeeze of your thigh. His soft touches give you goosebumps, a reaction that he immediately notices and immensely enjoys.

The hand on your thigh moves to cup your sex as his erection insistently presses into the curve of your ass. You wiggle out of your panties, eliciting a light gasp from him as you brush his cock. You adjust to allow him access and he eases himself in, replacing his arm around your waist. The two of you start off grinding against one another, reveling in just how close your bodies are to occupying the same space. Soon, though, these lazy movements give way to full on thrusting, his hand working furiously at your clit. You know there is nothing he loves more than the two of you cumming at the same time and when it happens, his moan is half sob.

You settle back against him once he pulls out, all shaking limbs and ebbing warmth. In hushed tones, he tells you how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, and how he still can’t believe you love him back. You turn to look at him and, lightly guiding his face to yours, reply with a kiss


	2. What's Wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh, more sad boy sex. Kylo opens up to you while fucking. You know how it goes.

You shifted slightly, pulling your knees up and, changing your mind, wrapped your legs around Kylo’s waist. Much, _much_ better. He felt bigger this way, not that he needed to. His moans confirmed that he also preferred your new position as he thrust himself ever deeper into your tight warmth. Resting on his forearms, he lowered his head to kiss your neck and shoulder. You nuzzled against him, enjoying yourself immensely, when you were surprised to hear him sigh heavily. 

Awkwardly pulling your head away, you tried to look at him. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”

He pushed up onto palms and then moved back to kneel, pulling your hips up over his thighs so he’d stay inside you. His face was morose. “I just...you know I’m a terrible person, right?” 

You propped yourself up on your elbows, looking at him incredulously. _What the hell?_

He moved his thumb to your clit and started rubbing in slow circles before continuing. “Sometimes I don’t know how it came to this. My life has been nothing but pain and abandonment and conflict as long as I can remember!” He choked back a sob and gripped your thigh a bit too hard in his misery.

You tensed and yelped. “Ow!”

His bottom lip quivered as he apologized. You shook your head, assuring him it was no big deal. Taking in a sharp breath, you asked him to continue. 

Swallowing tears, he nodded and unwrapped your legs from his torso, pulling you onto his lap so you were face to face and placing his large hands on your waist. “Okay. It feels like I’m completely defined by the Force. That was all anybody cared about with me. It’s why they all thought I was a freak.”

Grinding against him, you kissed him softly on his nose and then harder on his lips. “You’re not, though."

“You’re right, I’m a monster.”

Panting slightly, you shook your head.

His pout deepened and tears filled his eyes. “I just want peace. All I’ve ever known is the struggle between light and dark. It’s exhausting.” His broad shoulders slouched as his hands dropped to loosely grab your ass. A few dark, errant locks of hair flopped into his eyes.

You pressed his fingers into your soft flesh, forcing him to grip you tighter as you rutted against him, working towards orgasm. Looking up, you thought the dark circles under his eyes seemed worse in his sadness. Brushing the soft waves back from his face, you threaded your fingers into his hair and held his head in place. He locked eyes with you and was about to continue when you held a finger to his mouth, silencing him.

“Let me be your peace.” You whispered breathlessly as you felt warmth flow from deep inside your core, pulsing out through your limbs. 

Gasping through parted lips, he nods and shudders as he releases himself inside of you. Wrapping you in his arms, he holds you tight as your bodies rock slowly against each other, half in post-orgasm recovery and half in loving comfort.


	3. In which Kylo gets a Pavlovian boner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh chapter title says all.

You were walking past a rarely used room when you heard it. In contrast to the all-too-common sound of crackling electronics destroyed by a lightsaber (which you also heard), the very human noises produced from intense sobbing caught your attention. Recognizing them immediately, you cautiously entered the room and shut the door behind you, hoping that Kylo's fit of anger had fully run its course. Judging by the nearly unrecognizable state of the computers and the deep singed grooves populating their surface, it probably had. You followed the sound of sniffling and crouched underneath the fused metal of a console to see him sitting there, arms hugging his knees, watching you with wet eyes and a tear streaked face.

Neither one of you said anything for some time until he finally snarled, "Is this entertaining to you?"

You shook your head and reached out to push aside the tendrils of damp raven hair that clung to his face. "No, of course not. You know I hate to see you like this, I just don't know what's bothering you. You're lucky someone else didn't find you."

Instinctively wrapping his gloved fingers around the hilt of his lightsaber, he laughed derisively. "Or maybe they are."

Not amused, you sat on the ground next to him, looping your arm around his bicep and propping your chin on his shoulder. He moodily stared at the floor between his boots. To be entirely honest, you felt upset as well but didn't feel comfortable saying anything. Life and your own personal suffering had been bearing down on you in a number of ways but you didn't have the luxury of violent catharsis like he did. _No_ , you thought bitterly, _you had to bottle it up. Sure, there were all sorts of self care recommendations from friends but who has the time or the energy for that?_

You snapped out of your sullen reverie at the sound of his voice and realized that your eyes were brimming with hot salty tears as well. "What?"

His grave hazel eyes met yours before returning to staring at the ground with furrowed brows. "You're crying, too."

"Very astute," you retorted, then sighed and rested your cheek on his shoulder so your line of sight matched his. "I'm sorry." Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him shaking his head. He tugged you closer, and you crawled between his knees so he could hug you instead. You comfortably leaned your head back against him, angling so you could still see the austere lines of his face.

"Don't be," he near whispered and the two of you sat wrapped up in each other for awhile, the silence occasionally punctuated by the crackling pop of sparks as they showered down, signifying the abused console's final death throes.

All of a sudden, he shifted awkwardly. You sat up, noticing an extra pink tinge color his neck and face underneath the tears.

"Are you blushing? You know I've seen you like this plenty, right?"

He wouldn't meet your eyes. "That may be the problem."

"What are you talking about? What pro-" You were interrupted by him clearing his throat, stretching his legs, and pulling you onto his lap where his erection was immediately apparent.

Confused, you asked, "What does this have to do with me seeing you cry?"

He stared at you and stated matter-of-factly, "We frequently have sex when you comfort me."

It was your turn to blush. "Are you suggesting you've been conditioned to get aroused by crying?"

"Do you have another explanation?" He was tense, his jaw clenching and lips pursing at what might be taken for a mocking tone.

You blinked. "Well, no...." Considering your options, you experimentally rutted against his bulge. His response was gratifying; mouth parting slightly, breath catching in his throat, and long gloved fingers unconsciously moving to release his member from the increasingly tight pants that constrained it. Your heartbeat thudded in your ears as he grabbed your face, nearly eclipsing it with his large hands, and kissed you hard. You found your own arousal rapidly increasing as you basked in the feeling of rough leather and intermingled tears on your cheeks. He bit down on your lip, and the coiling warmth between your legs sent your hands flying to remove your pants, clumsy in their haste. Refusing to break the kiss, you ran your tongue over his ample lips as you slid all of your clothing from the waist down off and quickly straddled Kylo once more.

Shoving your shirt and bra roughly up to expose your breasts with one hand, he pumped his cock with the other. You slid onto it, your needy sex easily taking his thick length. He held your hips tightly, moving them at an urgent pace and you sighed at the warm friction generated where your bodies met. Cupping one breast in his hand, his thumb brushed lightly over your nipple as he leaned towards you to place wet, sucking kisses on your sternum. You took this opportunity to rake your nails lightly over his scalp before burying your face in his thick, dark tresses and massaging your fingers over his temples. He nuzzled between your tits, lazily dragging his lips over your flesh and moaning from deep in his chest. His visceral sounds reverberated through you pleasantly and you responded in kind as you positioned yourself to grind against his pelvic bone.

Feeling yourself getting closer, you whined in frustration when he sat up, weakening the pressure on your clit. He leaned you back and you instantly felt supported even though his hands gripped your thighs, an invisible pressure keeping you falling. His hands moved in towards your sex, spreading your labia and giving him an excellent view of your cunt being penetrated. The sheer vulnerability of it was working wonders for you, although you soon felt him using his mind to stimulate your exposed nerves. Unable to take it for very long, your orgasm crashed through you, leaving you limp and content as he came with a final plunge that grazed your cervix.

You sat up, kissed him, climbed off, and began to make yourself at least somewhat presentable. He eyed you.

"Are you leaving?"

Despite the fact that yes, you had been planning to bathe and go to sleep since you were completely exhausted from the day, something in his eyes made you pause. You pushed him gently onto the floor and curled up next to him, placing your head on his broad chest. "No, I think I'll stay. You might need my help if you start crying again"


	4. Invisible Works of Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Him cry.

You sit there quietly, considering the handsome face of Kylo Ren as his large form slouches against the headboard beside you. He can feel your gaze upon him and he gives you a sidelong glance but does not say anything. Suddenly self conscious, he awkwardly breaks the eye contact to stare at the bed in front of him. You smile secretly to yourself; there’s something so cute about those little mannerisms. Leaning towards him, you nuzzle into his neck, taking in the scent of his hair and skin before tilting your head up slightly and pressing your lips to one of the many dark marks on his face. His eyelids flutter and close at the soft sensation and breathes out a heavy, longing sigh. Taking this as encouragement, you move along his cheek bone and kiss the next spot, then down to the next before gently catching his lips. He reciprocates warily, holding back the hunger that you can almost feel radiating from him. Either he doesn’t understand what you’re doing or he doesn’t believe you.

Deciding it’s better to show than tell, you pull his cowl up over his head. He regards you, brows furrowed and pouting lips pursed into an inquisitive frown. You tug gently at his garments and he looks down, considering your wordless request before swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed and beginning to disrobe. Most of the time when you’re intimate, he stays clothed and does not really engage in any sort of romantic touching so you’re surprised when he complies. He stands up, tossing his garments unceremoniously aside and looks at you. “Well?”

“Oh, of course.” You take his meaning, quickly pull off your clothes, and stand before his now naked form. You place your hands on his chest and slide them to his shoulders, reveling in the muscles under your palms. Standing on your toes, you kiss him once on the lips before continuing your previous descent, picking up with the marks on his neck, his clavicle, his sternum. His chest heaves under your touch, and you draw gooseflesh from his sensitive skin. A wavering moan hits your ears and you feel something lightly hit the top of your head; if you hadn’t been inside, you would’ve guessed it was rain. You glance up to see tears streaking down the angles of his pale face from blissfully closed eyes.

“Oh Kylo,” you breathe. “You’re so, so beautiful”. He convulses upon hearing your words, sobbing, and you continue to drag your lips down his abdomen, creating invisible works of art from the raw masterpiece before you. Your pace has increased and your hands have followed your descent. They grip his hips and you brace yourself as you kneel, face level with his half hard cock. You kiss down his thighs, nipping and nuzzling at the touch starved flesh. He responds quickly, his erection hardening and darkening before your eyes. You wrap your fingers around the base, licking your lips before sliding the head between them. You let his needy length slide into your mouth, memorizing each vein with your tongue. His breathing has become shaky, both from lust and weeping, and you allow him to thrust into your mouth a few times. His right hand strokes your hair and you reach for his left, threading your fingers together and giving it a meaningful squeeze. His hips slow and he relinquishes control. letting your head lazily bob against his abdomen as he slides into your velvety throat again and again. He shudders and you know he is getting close, can feel his thighs tense and taste his pre cum on your tongue. His fingers press into your scalp and you speed up, his slick cock soon twitching against the roof of your mouth as evidence of his orgasm fills you and runs down your jaw. You pull back and start to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as he kneels heavily in front of you and presses his lips to yours without a second thought.


	5. I Don't Think So

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> Affection starved Kylo flinches as you reach to caress his face, thinking you are going to hit him. He gasps slightly at your touch and you pepper his cheeks with kisses. When your lips meet you feel him trembling against your body as he tries to make his lips match your movements. You feel the wetness of his tears, and he has to pull away to calm himself down. You offer him your hand and he takes it, and you lead him somewhere more private . . .

He quivers under the softness of your touch and you try to kiss the tears away but this just makes them flow harder and the hot, salty liquid coats your lips. You pull him against you, burying his face into your neck, and just stand there like that for awhile. You can feel his tears wetting your shoulder and collarbone, running down your shirt but you don’t mind. His arms wrap around your waist, too tight, pushing the air out of your lungs and you gasp as he loosens his grip and pulls back to look you in the eyes and make sure he didn’t really hurt you. He is comforted by your benevolent smile and the light brush of your fingertips on his cheek.

Nuzzling against your hand, he looks down and notices the tear stains on your clothes. 

“You should change.” He gestures towards the wet blotches. “I’ll leave.”

“I don’t think so.” You smile once more and place his hands on your hips before lifting your shirt off in one fluid motion. He licks his lips as his hazel eyes, wet and bloodshot, roam over you. His thumbs hook over your waistband and tug, sliding your pants off inch by inch over your soft curves as you work on figuring out how to disassemble his many layers. 

His hands move to help you and he appears self conscious, the action of undressing triggering a realization that you’d seen him so vulnerable already. His face flushes a dark pink, all the way down his now bare neck and you catch his eyes with a questioning look. He answers with an almost imperceptible shake of his head and takes a trembling breath as he draws you into his arms and you feel his lips crash into yours.

You allow him this and don’t press the matter, amazed at how much he’s opened up as it is. His skin is so warm against yours and your hands slide over the topography of his body with ease, fingertips dancing over his various scars and freckles. After his last garment drops to the floor, your hands follow its descent, tracing light lines before coming into contact with his already hard cock. 

Your heart thuds in your ears as you begin to stroke, his arousal turning you on almost as much as his kisses. He moans into your mouth and you shudder., emboldened, and slip your tongue past his lips. He responds in kind, exploring your mouth and guiding your hands up from his pelvis to rest on his shoulders instead. His large hands wander down to the backs of your thighs and before you know it, he’s lifted you off the ground, muscles tense as he supports your weight.

He pushes you against the nearby wall and you wrap your legs around him, panting as you grip his erection and position it at your entrance. His face ends up against your neck once more, although this time he nips and kisses the flesh as he pushes into your eager cunt. A sharp gasp catches in your chest and you revel in the feeling of his strong torso pressing against you while his hips fall into a steady rhythm. His hand slips between you, palm resting on your pelvis and thumb rubbing circles at your clit. 

You can feel the slick heat of your sexes starting to spread as his pace increases and his lips work back up your jaw. He rests his forehead against yours, dark waves damp and sticking to his cheeks from- from what? He wasn’t that sweaty. You slide a hand from around his neck to push the hair aside and realize that he’s begun crying once more, sobs disguised as moans. 

“Ohhhhhh” you breathe, kissing him and biting his plump lower lip as you start to come undone. His thrusts become erratic and you feel goosebumps over his flesh as he spills into you, rocking into your hips through his orgasm.


	6. You Should Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Affection starved Kylo flinches as you reach to caress his face, thinking you are going to hit him. He gasps slightly at your touch and you pepper his cheeks with kisses. When your lips meet you feel him trembling against your body as he tries to make his lips match your movements. You feel the wetness of his tears, and he has to pull away to calm himself down. You offer him your hand and he takes it, and you lead him somewhere more private . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at chapter titles ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Kylo tries to choke back the sobs against your lips. He quivers under the softness of your touch and you try to kiss the tears away but this just makes them flow harder and the hot, salty liquid coats your lips. You pull him against you, burying his face into your neck, and just stand there like that for awhile. You can feel his tears wetting your shoulder and collarbone, running down your shirt but you don’t mind. His arms wrap around your waist, too tight, pushing the air out of your lungs and you gasp as he loosens his grip and pulls back to look you in the eyes and make sure he didn’t really hurt you. He is comforted by your benevolent smile and the light brush of your fingertips on his cheek.

Nuzzling against your hand, he looks down and notices the tear stains on your clothes.   
“You should change.” He gestures towards the wet blotches. “I’ll leave.”

“I don’t think so.” You smile once more and place his hands on your hips before lifting your shirt off in one fluid motion. He licks his lips as his hazel eyes, wet and bloodshot, roam over you. His thumbs hook over your waistband and tug, sliding your pants off inch by inch over your soft curves as you work on figuring out how to disassemble his many layers. 

His hands move to help you and appears self conscious, the action of undressing triggering a realization that you’d seen him so vulnerable already. His face flushes a dark pink, all the way down his now bare neck and you catch his eyes with a questioning look. He answers with an almost imperceptible shake of his head and takes a trembling breath as he draws you into his arms and you feel his lips crash into yours.  
You allow him this and don’t press the matter, amazed at how much he’s opened up as it is. His skin is so warm against yours and your hands slide over the topography of his body with ease, fingertips dancing over his various scars and freckles. After his last garment drops to the floor, your hands follow its descent, tracing light lines before coming into contact with his already hard cock. 

Your heart thuds in your ears as you begin to stroke, his arousal turning you on almost as much as his kisses. He moans into your mouth and you shudder., emboldened, and slip your tongue past his lips. He responds in kind, exploring your mouth and guiding your hands up from his pelvis to rest on his shoulders instead. His large hands wander down to the backs of your thighs and before you know it, he’s lifted you off the ground, muscles tense as he supports your weight.

He pushes you against the nearby wall and you wrap your legs around him, panting as you grip his erection and position it at your entrance. His face ends up against your neck once more, although this time he nips and kisses the flesh as he pushes into your eager cunt. A sharp gasp catches in your chest and you revel in the feeling of his strong torso pressing against you while his hips fall into a steady rhythm. His hand slips between you, palm resting on your pelvis and thumb rubbing circles at your clit. 

You can feel the slick heat of your sexes starting to spread as his pace increases and his lips work back up your jaw. He rests his forehead against yours, dark waves damp and sticking to his cheeks from- from what? He wasn’t that sweaty. You slide a hand from around his neck to push the hair aside and realize that he’s begun crying once more, sobs disguised as moans. 

“Ohhhhhh” you breathe, kissing him and biting his plump lower lip as you start to come undone. His thrusts become erratic and you feel goosebumps over his flesh as he spills into you, rocking into your hips through his orgasm.


End file.
